Tuesday, January 11, 2011

LLL and other things on Tuesday

Today was La Leche League. This is a meeting that happens once monthly where breastfeeding moms (and not breastfeeding moms) get together and talk about... you guessed it, breastfeeding. Well really besides that what happens is ladies can feed their babies without anyone looking at them like they are weird. It's nice. I wish the whole world was one big perpetual LLL meeting.

Also we had a nice lunch afterward. Good news. I can still speak a language other than baby.

Here are Ella and I. Please note: Wearing 15 year old daughters scarf.

She is trying to eat my face. Don't worry I fed her before she got too much of it in her mouth.

Next item of business:

Hubs asked me about my blog the other day. He doesn't usually so this was big news.

It went like this:

Hub: Have you been updating your blog?

Me: No.

Hub: Why not?

Me: Because I don't have anything interesting to say.

Hub: You're always talking about happy stuff, you should talk about some hard stuff too.

Me: Good idea. What?

Hub: I don't know. Something hard. (BTW this is my version of what he said. He sounds far more intelligent than that.)

So here I am... I used to keep a pretty busy blog about weight loss.

But then I got skinny. Who wants to read about that?

Guess what? I'm not skinny anymore.

More on this later.

Also it looks like pretty soon I'm going to start guest blogging for Attachment Parenting International. That'll be fun.

News to follow.

Also... Don't tell my husband but staying at home has me a little freaked out. (Just kidding. He already knows.) Anyway. I've been an "at home" mom before. I love to cook and clean and craft and raise kids. Seriously. I was born to be domestic. My mom told me when my first darling baby was born that my the time she was 6 weeks old I wouldn't be able to get to work fast enough. Wrong. So so wrong. I cried EVERY DAY for months taking her to the nanny. I wanted to be home. As a mom it's all I've ever wanted. Suddenly though I feel like I have nothing vital to add to any conversation. Who wants to hear about homebirth? Breastfeeding? Co-sleeping? (Someone besides you Staci. You put up with me. Lord bless ya.) Also I'm afraid to run out of money. It's gonna happen eventually. And I'm afraid I'm a lousy mother. What if my kids hate me? I'm afraid I'll forget how to be a nurse. Oh my gosh, what if can never ever start an IV again? Then I'm afraid when I do go back to work no one will want to hire me because I forgot how to be a nurse. They can TELL. Oh and I'm afraid I'll forget how to have an adult conversation. Goo. Gah. What? You don't speak baby?! (I don't speak baby either. As far as I know babies speak the same language we do, they just don't know how to make words yet.) And I'm afraid of the day I have to go back to work. NO. I don't want a stranger taking care of my baby. It's a lot of afraid in case you didn't notice. Mostly I'm thankful to be at home. And scared for the day that isn't the reality anymore.

Those are the things maybe some mommy bloggers think about but don't say. My (Former. I think I have to call her former now that her brother and I aren't married anymore) sister in law, and one of my favorite people in the history of people, used to say, "I just wish we could all wear t-shirts that said the things we don't want people to know. Things like ' I yell at my kids'. 'I eat too much fast food/chocolate/meat.' 'I don't know the last time I exercised.' 'My husband and I fight. All the time.'' 'I don't recycle."

She's a smart one that lady.

It's true though. No one wants to say they're fat, mad, miserable, broke, too in debt, grouchy, have PMS, dislike their husbands, want to yell at their children. And if you talk about these things are you interesting? Honest? A jerk? I'm not sure.

I do know one thing though. You're about as interesting as you think you are.


The Great Quiram Adventure said...

Friend, you shouldn't worry so. You are a great Mom, sister, friend and wife. I don't think there is anything you are afraid to really say. You are so smart, lovely, encouraging, inspiring, charismatic, and no matter what words I write you are always going to be your own worst critic. Being a mom, nurse,sister, friend all comes naturally to you.

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