Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Alprazolam. And Thanksgiving.

To the non-medical types that word might mean nothing. But to those who have used it, that word might mean the difference between panic and sanity. You know what I'm talking about.


I've never taken it.

But, with the holidays approaching... well, I'm still not taking it.

We should talk about my family. I don't think it would be completely out of line to perhaps have a candy dish of said alprazolam on hand for such stress-laden holiday events as Thanksgiving. I can't talk about the crazy parts of my family because that would be rude. Not that they read my blog. But anyway. It's rude to say your family is crazy. I'm pretty sure.

Thanksgiving is approaching. I'm cooking for the Hubs, the big kids, Sister (if she can make it after eating in 2 other places) and my perpetually single father. (He's funny, attractive and 60 [but acts 45] years old and available, ladies.) I should say "We" are cooking because the Hubs will be in the kitchen too. He's that guy. Anyway we are not going to the Big Family Dinner. That's another blog post. Xanax not necessary. I hope.

Once I had a patient who kept a candy dish of vicodin on the table next to his easy chair. (Privacy disclaimer: Because all patients are protected by HIPPA, as they should be, I will not reveal details about patients or their families. I will not reveal details about specific illnesses nor will I reveal names or locations. Specific situations will be slightly altered to protect privacy. Because most of my readers know where I live there is no point in me trying to pretend I live somewhere else or not reveal where I live at all. My patients privacy is of utmost importance to me so I will not compromise it. If something I say resembles you or someone you know, I promise you, it is only coincidence. OK. That is all.) Anywho, candy dish of vicodin... I thought that was funny at the time but now I see it's just a matter of convienence. I mean you keep the remote next to your chair right? Right. Save yourself the trip to the cupboard. (I don't advocate the use of so much of any medication that you ought to have it in a candy dish. By the way.) This is purely anectodal and has no real bearing on this blog post except that it's funny that someone would keep vicodin in a candy dish. Thankfully no one actually expected to find candy in his house.

All you're likely to find in the candy dish here is actual candy.

And probably some turkey. Probably.


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