No crap.
*I walked around all day with my nursing bra hanging open. Unaware. That is how much time my bra spends open.
* I shaved my legs (it was newsworthy).  I did not cut myself (also newsworthy).
* My 12 year old son is 
texting a girl. A female. He claims she's not his girlfriend but I saw him text her a rose. Suspect. Highly suspect.
* I caught him doing push-ups. Oh. Dear. God.
* My 11 year old son got completely ready for school without any prompting. And also without pants on (inspiring my future book... Don't Forget Your Pants).
* My 15 year old daughter started drivers training. Sigh.
* I hope bald is coming back because the baby pulled out half the hair on the right side of my head.
* One of our stupid dogs attacked the other stupid dog and I almost broke my arm trying to separate them. I am not a fan of our dogs right now. Or any dogs for that matter. Or the cat. In fact, the only animals I'm feeling any good about are the fish, and one of them died. Crap.
* I had to pee (at least once a day) but the baby was in the wrap so I peed while 
babywearing. In fact I also swept, cooked and dusted 
babywearing. I would have showered 
babywearing if my sling was waterproof (and yes they do make those).
* I made 
Henry the Hoot Owl. But I had to do it with a baby on my lap which means I stabbed myself with knitting needles no less than 7 times.
* I went almost an entire day without water. I had coffee and iced tea. That's all. And they weren't even 
caffeinated. I didn't realize it until 9:15 pm. By then I had a headache. (I hope the Man isn't reading this or I'm busted)
* I made rice 
krispie treats.
* I ate rice 
krispie treats for breakfast.
* I ate rice 
krispie treats for dinner.
* I probably ate rice 
krispie treats for lunch but I'm not admitting it.
* One night I served the 15 year old (who had to leave for an activity before dinner was done) a plate of 
mexican rice, a rice 
krispie treat and a banana. It looked as bad as it sounds.
* I started to write a tutorial for the owl I mentioned above. I got the first two lines written. So far, that's it. It goes like this: Step One: Get some yarn. Step two: Get some size 3 knitting needles. (More on this later)
* The 11 year old told us he was learning about dictators that are "mean and crazy" also that he would like to be a dictator, but a "nice one" because he doesn't want to be shot or hung. Awesome. It's good to have dreams.
* I fell into the big curbside trash can. Like inside of it. I don't really want to talk about it.
* Did I mention the rice 
krispie treats?
Oh also because I've been such a good wife and mommy (or you know, because I was looking for an excuse, like I FELL IN A TRASH CAN) I bought myself this lovely book:

Isn't it 
lurvely?
Then someone spilled syrup on it.
Of course.
So readers... what happened to you in the last week?
Hang in folks,
j-diddle
PS I love Jane Austen. Who doesn't love Jane Austen? OK I mean what LADY  doesn't love Jane Austen? If you don't love Jane Austen you should buy  this book anyway because it's so 
purdy.
PPS It's been one the best weeks of my life.